Fire in the Hole

Publisher Marketing: Here's what you, the brave reader, need to know. Fire Down Below has a sequel. I know; everyone's super surprised that Amazon allowed me to keep the poop-your-pants book up all this time. In Fire in the Hole, Dove's sausage-loving neighbor has realized he's wildly in love with her lurchingly awkward butt. Johnson is the pharmacist of her dreams until he tells her over Twitter-goddamnit-that he has plans with an ex-girlfriend. Duke scrapes Dove off her apartment floor and takes her to his cousin's wedding. As Pissboy and Cross-eyed Knockers tie the knot, Duke could just kick himself in the balls when he sees Johnson and Beth at the same venue driving Dove insane with jealousy. Will Dove give up everything, even her self-esteem, to get Johnson's johnson between her legs? Or will the scent of spiced meat inspire Dove to rip off Duke's sausage-and-egg underwear forever? Yup. I can publish this. No law against it... yet. "Reading this book will give you haemorrhoids." EL James, #1 NTY Bestseller "Please take this garbage and shove it up the hole before it catches fire. Possibly the worst book ever." Joy Fulcher, Amazon Best Selling Author "Good God. Not again." Tijan NYT Bestseller (who allows payments for friendship) "Last book came with maxi pads. What's next? An industrial-sized tub of Vagisil?" Tina Reber, NYT Bestseller "I think I'd rather read a bowl of alphabet soup Elle Jefferson Queen unicorn Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ... why did I agree to read this again?" Mary Elizabeth, Mother of Dragons "Wait... what? Again? Does she own stock in those protective pads?" Nancee Cain, Amazing Author "Hang on to your vagina (or mine), Debra Anastasia is writing another sick piece of shit? WHY " Ana, Ana's Attic Book Blog "Debra slapped me with her lady lips, pinned me down with her bosom, shoved my face against her hairy legs and threatened me to write this review...it's "great." Meghan Quinn, Queen of the Obscene "Takes an asshole to recognize a crap story." Season Vining, Amazing Author "I thought seeing the search results for 'Blue Waffle' was the most traumatic experience I'd ever suffered. But no. This book was far worse." Cora Brent, NYT Bestseller "This book had my anus puckering in fear!" Anne Mercier, Amazon Bestselling Author "Debra broke the hole code! What happens in the hole is supposed to stay in the hole!" Rochelle Paige, Amazon Bestseller "Are you kidding me? My eyes only just stopped bleeding from the last one!" Nicki Elson, Author of Romantic Things "Have the brain bleach on standby!" Carol Oates, Amazon Minor Category Bestseller (but major talent!) "Still no." Jamie McGuire, #1 NYT Bestseller "I was an innocent person, then Debra Anastasia happened." King Midian "I thought Debra Anastasia was dead." Angie Lynch, CEO and President of Shameless Book Club "So...has to be related to Fire in the Hole or should I say fart?!" Pepper Mint, Reader "This book makes a case of genital warts seem like winning the lottery." Helena Hunting, NYT Bestseller "This is worse than Godfather III!" Daisy Prescott, USA Today Bestseller "This book is unforgettable, unless you pay for a lobotomy and three rounds of shock therapy like I did." Katherine Stevens, Amazing Author "Debra Anastasia's work is consistent... consistently bad. Fire In The Hole might be the worst book ever published. Someone, please, please take her computer away." K. A. Robinson, NYT Bestseller "Wait. I was supposed to READ this?!" Jillian, READ-LOVE-BLOG Contributor Bio:  Anastasia, Debra There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia's house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She's made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her-six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can't catch the items fast enough. In between taking care of everything those eyes involve, Debra creates pretend people in her head and paints them on the giant, beautiful canvas of your imagination. What an amazing job that is. The stories hit her hard while driving the minivan or shaving her legs, especially when there's no paper and pen around. In all of the lies she writes hides her heart, so thank you for letting it play in your mind. Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance, will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia, but be prepared...