"U Can't Make This Stuff Up": the Greatest Book U Have Never Read

The reason I wrote this book was to make available stories that prove it is not too late. I had discernment that I should write short stories and mix various topics with both humor and eternal consequences. On October 30, 2012, I was on an elevator flirting with several women. I walked off that elevator with an idea: a book about flirting. During the first week of November 2012, I asked Jesus to give me ideas for a book. In 48 hours, the Holy Spirit gave me 130 ideas for a book. Sixty weeks and 950 hours of work later, I have a complete manuscript. The Bible says I'm just a filthy rag. I'm not a preacher because I'm not called and would be unworthy. I'm not a teacher because I would have no patience, and I'm not a speaker because I'm very shy with large groups. Therefore, the printed virgin*. Maybe I'm an explainer. I prefer to explain my faults and sins rather than point at others. There is a fine line between being judgmental and attempting to explain the truth. I once was told from an old-fashioned "fire and brimstone" preacher that he did not judge people, but people judged themselves with their actions. If U are truly told by "the Son of God" to give someone a message, U better do it. U are not going to like your life for being disobedient. However, U may temporarily not like your life for being obedient. It is a strange dichotomy in the dilemma of life. We have to not wither but have planted seeds in the good ground of life to withstand the persecution. I truly hope those who may feel offended by my humor or Bible's truths . . . will understand that I'm speaking from my heart and only want to help, and I'm incapable of expressing the right words at the right time in person. Please remember I'm in this struggle too. Just because I have written a book . . . does not mean I am exempted from hell. A walk with Jesus and temptation from the devil is a daily battle. I need your prayers. I'm a long ways from where I w