K E Leger

The Metamorphosis of Self K E Leger

In 2015, even though I still experienced many forms of the other four stages of grief, with prayer and faith, I began to move into the final stage: Acceptance. It's not total normalcy, but you begin to feel new, alert, and a little bit more complete. I was lucky to have someone to help me lift the hurt from my heart. If you haven't received this then your stages might last longer, but you will get through it. Am I over it? A smile is on my face. These books are in your hands because I was able to pull myself together and gather all my work, write, layout the books, and edit the books. This in itself is my reason to celebrate. Just a year ago, reading a book took me months and months. Writing one seemed impossible. So, on that level of my self, I feel great. When it comes to the relationship level of my self: I don't feel anything for [x] except for pity. I feel a lot of sadness for my children, my siblings, and my parents. I haven't learned how to forgive but I do pray for [x] to be a good father to my son. This hasn't happened yet. On my personal relationship status: I still don't fully trust. I can't seem to bring myself to believe in another person totally yet. I pray. I have faith. I'm not getting any younger. I know some of you feel this way: I don't want to be alone. So, I still have these issues to deal with, and to add flames to the fire, so to speak, I'm now experiencing menopause and I recently survived an allergic reaction to the depression medication that enabled me to move on. I can't take any more depression medications! I have to deal, and I am. Pretty much by myself. Today, there are many things that I'm grateful for. I have God. He's made sure that I am financially independent and that my health care is taken care of. I don't need anyone, but it doesn't stop the craving way down deep in my heart to just want someone. I'm learning patience. It will come.