Creighton Thompson

Dumpster Fire Creighton Thompson

Thompson fails at: Job hunting -- "My mom suggested I wear a tie for the interview. She also suggested I take the next damn job I find and move the hell out of her house."His cheap dad -- "With all the smoothness of a mortician prompting the bereaved for payment my Dad added, 'Son, I'll need the fifty dollars you brought."Dating -- "Taking a chick to the County Fair turned out to be the dullest date on record. However, for flies and the dumpy, corn-fed hillbillies who proudly stood next to their freakishly bloated livestock...this was Disneyland" Dumpster Fire educates. FACT: Because of its refrain to "Get it On" T. Rex's song "Bang a Gong" has never been played at any church dance. FACT: Before hot chicks will flirt with marginal looking guys, they'll attempt to dull as many senses as possible through alcohol abuse and loud music. This helps blunt the shame they'll experience the following morning. FACT: Vomiting produces more force per square inch then the Mighty Mississippi. Laugh Cry Vomit! finally reveals what men need to know about women and what women need not know about men. "With a relationship built on a foundation of opportunity and whim Candy and I hooked up often. This is normally a dangerous combination, but since we were both in other relationships we enjoyed the bond of Mutually Assured Destruction. She squeals? I squeal!"